just turn off the noise

Are you stressed? Do you find that everywhere you turn, you can't get away from anyone? Do you want to take time out for yourself? Stress can lead to serious problems if you don't do something about it. That's why it is very important to make time for yourself. Many people find the holidays relaxing and others find it stressful because of all the things involved at that time. There are some things you can do as kind of a retreat. Even if you are on a budget and can't jet off to Hawaii, you can turn off the TV and computer, lol. Turn off the lights, light some candles, take a long soak in the tub, and try not to think about anything else. it's also good to keep a journal of things that are happening or even frustrations. Get to "know" yourself-what you want and who you are and where you are going in your life. That may be hard to understand for some. Many people go through the motions of life without stopping to think for themselves. Some call that being in "auto-pilot".
Being an automaton is not any fun. Life was not meant to be that way.

Again getting back on the subject, if you need time for yourself now and then, then make an "appointment". Need one night just to be to yourself? Got kids? Take them to grandma's or to an aunt's for the night. Even a good friend may be willing to look after the kiddies. Some people like to rent a hotel room for the night even if it is five miles from the house. The point is, buy some time out for yourself. You will definately feel better. Sleep a few extra hours in the morning. The majority of people are sleep deprived. My motto is 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes I get less because I simply cannot fall asleep. This is not easy for busy, career oriented people. But again you need to do this now and then. To sum it up, whatever you do get some extra rest, watch a movie in bed if you must have the TV on. Do something you rarely get a chance to do. You will not regret it!!! Have a happy day to yourself!

Just sort of chillin'

Just sort of chillin' right now. Today I returned to work after a five day holiday weekend. The boss was out so things were not so stressful. I'm going to try hard to make this blog pretty positive. I'll be posting some photography later. I'm learning this new camera. A little bit more features than the other digital camera but I am learning the features. Still. there are some things I just don't get. Look at the Photoshopped pic of me above. I have had this program two years and am still learning how to use it. I have Photoshop Elements: Classroom In a Book. It was the only way to figure out how to use this 80 dollar software. it's tough but sometimes it's fun. I would recommend people buy an additional software book as I mentioned because Photoshop only has basic instructions!

Rebuttals against negative thinking

Food for thought...though it seems to be harder than it looks.


“Some people think/treat me like I am stupid”


You are not stupid. You make choices in life that stupid people won’t make. Also stupid people don’t commit to things that you might commit to-so who’s really stupid?

If you look at reality the very people that treat you stupid or dumb are the ones who are really blind. The fact that they believe that somebody else is stupid or dumb without getting to know them are pretty much in the dark.

Besides even if they know something you don’t know, it does not make you dumb or stupid. Nobody can know everything and you know things they don’t know. It’s not all about them and what they know. All men were made equal. There is no one living on the earth that is superior or higher in worth to you.




“People don’t like me because I am quiet.”


Not all people will like you whether you are quiet or not. A lot of friendly people are disliked by others and yet have people that like them as well. It’s better to have one or two special friends that like you, than none at all. Those people are genuine and worthwhile-the people who dislike you are not worth your time.



“I can’t do anything right.”


Yes you can! You are just looking at too many of the times you may have made a mistake. People seem to recall only the mistakes and not the times they were successful. Write down a list of every possible good thing that has happened to you or that you were good at. Don't leave out anything no matter how small!




“What if I embarrass myself?”


So? Everyone gets embarrassed from time to time. You are harder on yourself than anyone would ever be. The way you might condemn yourself to embarrassment and failure is much more extreme than anyone else would actually have done to you.



What are they thinking of me?”


Not what you are thinking, obviously, since no two people think the exact same thought. People perceive things differently. They don’t care to judge you when their mind is elsewhere. Even an occasional dirty look from somebody else may or may not be a critic of you. Even if it is, they certainly have the problem. How can anyone hate a book that they haven’t read?


“She/he looks better than me. I’m not good enough.”

Looks have nothing to do with intelligence or worth. Not all good looking people are smarter, wiser, or more experienced than a “less than perfect” person. Some of the greatest famous people and historians were quite unattractive-at least in many peoples’ minds. Einstein wasn’t exactly a hunk but he was smart.




“I’m depressed today. Life is hopeless and it won’t change.”

Yes, it will and your mood will change. There will be better days and at times you may feel so good your problems seem to shrink. For those with severe depression, a doctor can help you get better and with such things as CBT and meds. You will find ways to manage your moods and to take steps to counter negative with positive.

Morecambe and Wise once sang 'Positive Thinking'

slideshow of my photography

Here is a slideshow of my photography. I made it a while back.

more positive stuff ahead

There will be more positive things ahead to talk about, post and do just for fun. You'll know when I am in a bad mood, lol. Otherwise I'll just keep posting about my hobbies and photography that I haven't done much on this blog.

Positive Thinking 4 Life

If you really want to feel positive then make the choice to be positive. Some people must work at being more positive because of many years of negative input being programmed into their minds. I often find that when I slack on my positive thinking exercises, I go back to that same old negative pattern that was programmed into me as I was growing up. Like anything you want to do in your life you must be totaly committed to being positive. In a sense it must be like a second religion to you. You would apply it as you would to anything you are devoted to in life-your personal faith or something else that you stick with daily. I find a tremendous change for the better in my mind when I practice daily. I haven't yet figured out how to balance it because I get so excited reading new articles on positive thinking that I can't stop. I find I'm printing out about 40 sheets in one day..... Take it easy!!

pills and prayers

Someone once said "We're living off pills and prayers." Isn't that true in today's world? What we see in the news, what happens to us in our life, our concerns, our challenges. No wonder so many of us live off of pills and prayers. I just saw something on the news-a horrible accident involving some kind of tanks. They crashed into the front windshield of this car killing the person. What if it had been someone I'd known? A friend or a family member? Someone just lost a friend or a family member. Sad.

anxiety/emotional responses/frustration

Yet again another vicious cycle and physical symptoms. Heart palpitations at it again. I don't knowwhy the slightest emotional reponses set it flipping around in my chest. It does not beat right. I can be online, maybe slightly anxious-nothing to worry about and yet it starts in skipping around, irregularity. I do believe that at leat 50% of my problem is subconcious. But I don't know what I am thinking to make this happen. I know my social anxiety causes me some computer anxiety. I know rationally there is nothing to be afraid of, but deep down I think I am afraid of what people will think. Whenever I get busy on that popular site, YouTube and I start posting videos or comments, my heart starts flipping around again. On the surface I am rarely thinking-"I'm afraid" "What will people think?" and all that blah blah. But I can't help it. The slightest emotional responses deep down start this process I call mental torment. Thats why I had to quit work. Would YOU go to work daily if your heart kept flipping around and you felt like you were going to have a heart attack. It is the most distressing thing I have to live with in my life and is about 50% of why I avoid anything stressful such as a job, performing tasks in front of others and anything that I feel I will be ridiculed or scrutinized. Even if I am relatively calm, it doesn't matter. My heart will find a way to get involved with the anxiety which in turn makes it even worse. If I weren't so afraid to go to a doctor for the heart thing I would but I am terrified beyond understanding. As I write this the palpitations come and go. Seems writing this makes it worse and yet on the surface my anxiety is only from a scale of 1-10 on about a 2. I love gwtting online and posting in forums and I don't alway feel anxious on the surface but my heart proves it by doing it's acrobatic routine. It's even 2-3 times worse during PMS and I know that there is definately a change with the hormones and chemicals in the brain that trigger those things. That is another reason for a cranky woman when she has PMS. The chemicals in the brain get altered causing different emotional responses. You know what that means... Stay away from the wife/girlfriend/daughter during her PMS... she might bite your head off. Even when I can be humorous online I still get the heart palps. When I get off and go relax most of the time the symptoms subside. If I get up the nerve to check into this maybe I will have my questions answered and wonder how much the heart is really affected by our emotions. I know it does. Why didn't they find anything wrong with me in the ER? That time many years ago. Because the symptoms left after I was on the monitor so it could not pick up anything-is my guess. Well, what do they really know?

lighten the load

Here is something to lighten the load after all that "negative" talk in my other postings. My photography has been therapeutic.

something triggered

Something set off my anxiety yesterday. I was house sitting for some people and all was fine. I stayed a little later and was still there when they came home. I started having heart palpitations. I was glad to see them and wanted to visit. They are my friends and I hadn't seen them much lately. But for some reason the excitement set off the palpitations ("skipping", "irregularity"). It was better by the time I left and then during the night it started again. I was so sleepy but was disturbed each time I tried to go to sleep by my heart "skipping". I get a vicious cycle and sometimes I can't just talk my way out. It has to run it's course. The more I worry about it, the more it happens. This happens to me most in social situations which is obviously a social anxiety symptom. Or sometimes subconscious thoughts set it off. All I know is there are things that trigger this-consciously or unconsciously. I was told this thing I have with my heart is part of my anxiety disorder. Tests were once run but I don't believe thoroughly as could have been done. I did research. I'm no doctor but I do believe mitral valve prolapse might have something to do with this. Stress aggravates it. I have 0% courage to get a doctor to check it out. I do know in most cases, this is not a dangerous health risk. I've suffered from these "palpitations" since 1985 and I'm still alive. I inherited it from my mother. her diagnosis was never made on hers either. She did in fact have a heart attack in 2004 but the doctors said it was NOT from the palpitations but from some other cause- not high cholesterol but another problem. A name I cannot remember....
She takes heart medicine now. Still gets palpitations but not near as bad as what I suffer. It's made my life pretty hard. I try to make the best of things. Though nobody understands half of what I am up against every day of my life, I do. It's not easy.
I'd say two-thirds of my life has pretty much been a living hell. That sounds a bit negative, I know but sometimes I am going to be out-spoken in these blogs. ( I bet you're laughing at me right now. You've seen worse blogs!)I posted in the previous blogs that thinking positive does not mean denying reality or that there are not bad things in life. I can't believe that all positive thinkers don't have bad days. He/she must be some sort of "perfect" person. lmho! But really, it's serious emotional stress I am dealing with everyday. Not such a pretty picture.

your work is valuable!

I've seen people with the mistaken belief that you have to have a certain type of job or career in order to be successful or worth anything. But if you work hard at anything you do, it is valuable. Some people make more money than others which is obvious as you see in the media and all. Some people make thousands or even millions of dollars and barely lift a finger to earn it. I forget what you call those kinds of people. Entrepreneurs? Well I know some of them work really hard. What if you are a stay at home mom? What do your friends think? Do they tell you you should get a job? Tell them you have a job! You are nurturing your child/children and are training them for a secure future. You spend countless hours feeding and reassuring your children, do you not? You stay up with them at night when they are sick. You make sure they are clean and well fed. What if you are a stay at home wife, maybe you have no kids. Your husband provides enough means of living. You dedicate your time and energy to care for your yard, your house and the many errands to be done. IS that not a job? True, you don't get paid for it but it is a job. What if you have a job that doesn't pay much yet you work hard and you come home at the end of the day tired yet fulfilled? What if all you did was flip burgers or pick up trash, or babysit? Maybe you mowed a few lawns. It doesn't matter what you do. Work is work. Of course whatever you choose to pursue is your choice. If you are happy that is important. I just want people to know whatever work you do, it is valuable and it benefits not just yourself but others. If you want a big career, than pursue it. If you simply want to flip burgers, babysit, do road construction, help older ones, mow lawns, be a stay at home mom, then do it. Again I can't stress it enough, all hard work is valuable... pursue it. Do what you have to do. Don't worry about what others think or what society defines as a career or a "meaningful" job.

got through it

I got through this afternoon at the DPS. That's where a person goes to get their license or i.d. I had to get my i.d. renewed and they hadn't taken a picture in ten years. I had to wait an hour and a half until they called my number. I was actually a little excited when they were getting close to my turn. My social anxiety was fair. I did not have anything major. I had taken my medication and was calmer. I had put this off for a month. I don't regret that I did but I'm glad I got it done. I just hope I had my eyes open when they took the picture. There were a lot of people in there but I just sat as calmly as I possibly could. Made it.

find the good

Find the good in yourself, and in others. If you don't, you won't find yourself very happy. A person can waste years of their life and energy being depressed and displeased with all the bad when there is certainly enough good thoughts to go around in this world. It doesn't mean you deny the fact that there are bad things in this world, but that you choose to look at it as the saying goes, the glass half full. As well as making lemonade out of lemons. Despite all the number of bad, negative things, change them to positive. That's what I'm working on.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

As I mentioned, you should only think in the moment. That's is, if thinking outside the moment is negative or is wasted time on too much worry. I did not want anyone to misunderstand the meaning of that. if you are thinking about yesterday, it could be something good that you did. Today you think about what you accomplished and feel good at the end of the day. Tomorrow, you think about something fun you plan to do like go on a trip or even a healthy concern for something that needs to be taken care of. So in yesterday, today, and tomorrow, are always something worthwhile.

today

I call this just today because that is where I am at. I should not be worried about yesterday or tomorrow. I am at today. It's important to live each moment at a time and not be wrapped up in what you may have failed to do or wish you could do.

I'm on an incredible journey to work on the moment. That's not to say I won't post something that I "preach" against.

Like I may say it's my goal that I am going to think positive and not negative and yet I may vent my negative frustrations out. Well, sometimes we have to.

First of all I am not going to hide the fact that I am a sufferer of an anxiety disorder and that I also have social anxiety disorder. These disorders are misunderstood by so many. There are sites and message boards for people who have these problems. I often visit these more than just a message board for people who talk about movies, etc. I do visit message boards where I do not talk about my disorders because it is not the place to speak of it or I sometimes fear what others might think.

That is not good. When a person hides the fact that they are different in some way, in a sense they don't like themselves because they think they are not good enough. They are afraid of people looking down on them. They are sometimes considered not "normal".

I have this fight myself. I know though that this is wrong thinking. I am good enough.

This society's view of what is right or wrong, "normal" is at times distorted.

Some people think you have to have a certain income, or a certain work ethic or attitude in order to be accepted as "normal".

I put that in quotes because that word is greatly misused and it needs to be defined more clearly.